Saturday, December 31, 2005

BritBoy's TOP TENS (and fives) OF 2005

TOP 10 STARS:




NUMBER 10: KEVIN FEDERLINE.


I did toy with putting Britney and Kevin as number 10, but then I thought "what the hell has Britney done this year? Apart from give birth?"....while Kevin has been the MASTER of productivity.
He wore sandals with socks
He had his Ferrari customised
And he is about to release the most ludicrous single known to man... POPOZAO!!

I cannot wait!




NUMBER 9: RACHEL MCADAMS


Rachel was amazing in Mean Girls and The Notebook and she continues her reign as one of the best young actresses out there in Red Eye and The Family Stone. She just has a charisma and star appeal that a lot of actresses lack...i dont think there is anyone who doesn't like her...

..go on, prove me wrong.



NUMBER 8: JESSICA SIMPSON

2005 was Jessica's year..she was EVERYWHERE..on TV, in movies, releasing songs, on top of Johnny Knoxville...

She also finally got rid of Nick, as much as I loved Newlyweds she deserved someone sooo much better. He was so mean to her when she got confused about things. I'm sorry but I would be confused by the whole "Chicken of the sea" thing too...why the hell put the word "chicken" on a can for tuna in the first place...

you're just asking for trouble...




NUMBER 7: ORLANDO BLOOM

I love Orlando and let me tell you why:
He is British
He has cool hair
He gets to dress up in cool costumes everyday and get paid

Plus I actually thought he was really good in Elizabethtown (minus the accent) I think he really should try more comedy. Actually no, he should leave the comedy to me..there isn't enough room in Hollywood for two young, dashing, British comedians...




NUMBER 6: KEIRA KNIGHTLEY

I doubt any explanation for this choice is needed. I would have put Keira at number one but then that would be my bias and undying love/ stalker obsession for her skewing the truth...

..kind of like the time i rigged the Olympics...

...but less of that and on to number 5...




NUMBER 5: BRANGELINA.

Yes, they do indeed count as one person. The whole Jennifer-Brad-Angelina saga was hot news this year and EVERYONE seemed to be on Jennifer's side, sure she's America's sweetheart and all but I doubt anyone could resist Angelina Jolie...with all her vials of blood, tattoos and brother-kissing...thats just too hot.

Plus, now that Angelina is allegedly pregnant I'm pretty confident that they are going to give birth to the most beautiful human being ever seen by man, that's why they are number 5.




NUMBER 4: PARIS HILTON

If a celebrity could get an award for being overexposed (in every sense of the word) it would be Paris Hilton..what hasn't she done this year? She is one big Acting, Modelling, Singing, Designing, Partying, Videotaping, Videotape Stealing, Sidekick losing, Best Friend Hating, Boyfriend Dumping, Engagement Breaking, New Boyfriend Getting, "That's Hot" Saying, Big Bucks Spending, Shopping Spree Going, Car Crashing, Paparazzi Loving Socialite.




NUMBER 3: TOMKAT

TomKat also count as one person, where to begin with the insanity of their relationship? In the space of a few months Katie Holmes dumped her boyfriend, dumped Christianity for Scientology, announced she was dating Tom Cruise, announced she was engaged to Tom Cruise and announced she was pregnant with Tom Cruise's baby. Also during this time they both went on a publicity blitz worthy of...well...Paris Hilton...including the now infamous couch jumping incident and the Matt Lauer interview.

TomKat thank you for providing us with so much entertainment...and convincing us that all scientologists really are freaks.




NUMBER 2: JAKE GYLLENHAAL

Look at that, I have enough respect for Jake that I learned how to spell his surname...now thats respect. I predict now that Jake is set to be the biggest male star in Hollywood..I certainly hope so. He is an amazing actor...I already loved him in Donnie Darko, one of my favourite films..seeing Brokeback Mountain simply confirmed his talent...while everyone focused on Heath Ledger I think that Jake put in just as worthy a performance.
In interviews he seems really well adjusted and down to earth..kind of the male Rachel McAdams..
....now THEY would make a good couple. THAT will be my campaign for 2006... get Rachel and Jake together and form Jakadams or Gyllenchel or Rake...yes RAKE...Rachel and Jake...RAKE...wooo 2006 will be the year of RAKE...mark my words!



So, now it is time to reveal my number one choice....









It was a tough decision....








But there was only one real choice....








Come on, you know who it is.....







it's.....









THE LOHAN!!!!!!


As if there was ever any doubt. The Lohan has given us the best entertainment tidbits of the year, from her ever changing appearance to her ever changing boyfriends and dramatic car crashes...Lindsay doesn't even need to do anything to make headlines. But enough of me talking..I will guide you through 2005 via pictures of the Lohan herself.

Lindsay started the year as the cute girl we knew from mean girls:







Then Lindsay decided it might be fun to get and tan..and took it slightly too far...




Then suddenly two new...er...additions appeared to spring up on Lindsay's chest...starting an unprecidented amount of press...




Then in yet another transformation Lindsay shed a ton of weight and looked good for a while...




But then Lindsay went blonde, lost more weight and lost her assets in the process....




Lindsay's weight continued to drop until she looked like a...




Then Lindsay appeared with what looked like a refined nose and plumped up mouth







But then Lindsay realized that the skinny blonde look didn't look so great




Then the hair got darker and a bit of weight started to creep on




Then the hair got darker still and Lohan's famous chest miraculously returned




And with the boobs came even bigger lips







Lohan rounded off the year with one theme: Black




Black




Black




Black




Black




Black




Black




and even more Black!





So at last count thats:
5 dye jobs
4 movies
4 singles
3 boob jobs
2 lip jobs
2 car crashes
1 nose job
and one AWESOME job giving us a great 2005!

Lindsay Lohan we salute you!


TOP 10 BLOGS:


1. BritBoy in L.A. (duh)
2. Conversations about famous people
3. D Listed
4. Pink is the new blog
5. Perez Hilton
6. A Socialite's Life
7. Hollywoodrag
8. The Superficial
9. Gawker
10. Hollywood Tuna


TOP 5 TV SHOWS:





1. 24

Quite possibly the best TV show in the history of the world..ever. So good that I stayed up 24 hours just to watch an entire series on DVD. Truly addictive..the heroin of television.





2. Nip/Tuck

Runs a close second in addictiveness, who couldn't wait to find out who the carver was? even if the result was rather dissapointing...the words "I was born without a penis" just took the seriousness of the show away for me.





3. The Soup!

I LOVE THIS SHOW! Joel McHale cracks me up, my first choice for celebrity news, gossip and ridicule.





4. Thats so Raven

Don't judge me. Raven is hilarious. Disney Channel Rocks.





5. Laguna Beach

One word: Casey. If you missed my post on Team Casey click HERE



TOP 5 MOVIES





1. Crash

The movie of the year for me, go rent it now!





2. Brokeback Mountain

I only saw this a few days ago and it instantly made my top 5. Beautiful, moving and daring for Hollywood.





3. Elizabethtown

Ok, so it got bad reviews but I really enjoyed it. Not a classic but good for a few laughs.





4. Oldboy

One of the most innovative and disturbing films of the year. Although it was released in the uk earlier it didn't come out in the US until 2005...SO IT IS A 2005 FILM!





5. Red Eye

Everyone seemed to go nuts over Flightplan this year but I saw Red Eye first and for me there was no comparison. Such a tense, edge of your seat movie that people in the cinema were SCREAMING directions at Rachel McAdams...um...she can't hear you...


TOP 5 SONGS:

1. The Killers "Somebody Told Me"
2. The Strokes "Reptilia"
3. The Bravery "Honest Mistake"
4. M.I.A. "10 Dollar"
5. Madonna "Hung Up"


TOP 5 CELEB EVENTS:






1. Brad and Jen's breakup

Who would have thought that in 2005 Brad and Jen would break up? It's kind of like if Joseph had left Mary for a bisexual vampire. Not that there are bisexual vampires in the bible..but...you know...that would be just as shocking.





2. Nick and Jessica's breakup

Who would have thought that in 2005 Nick and Jessica would break up? Everyone. Nick is an idiot. The end.





3. TomKat's explosion

Scientology's power couple got together in 2005 and judging by how Katie looked when I saw her it isn't really going that great. To read about that click HERE I can't wait to see what their child looks like...eg if it has a giant grey head and one big eye.





4. Paris sidekick hacked

I love sidekicks. I love Paris Hilton. I love celebrity embarrasment. Hence I loved it when Paris Hilton's sidekick got hacked and all her celebrity friends' phone numbers, private notes and pictures were released to the public. Don't lie..you phoned Ashley Olsen's phone too...





5. Lindsay's car crash

Poor Lindsay, she had not one but two big car crashes this year. The moral of the story...
...enormous breast implants can get in the way of you and the steering wheel.



TOP 5 PERSONAL EVENTS:

1. Getting in to UCLA Film School
2. Getting an internship at Paramount Studios
3. Being mentioned on Pink is the new blog, DListed, A Socialites Life and Conversations about Famous People
4. Smeeting Demi Moore, Courtney Love, Nicole Richie, Sharon Stone, Taryn Manning, Katie Holmes, Justin Long, Martin Sheen, Fred Durst and Tina Barrett
5. Having a great response from the readers of this blog.

Thank you all so much and have a VERY HAPPY NEW YEAR.

See you all in 2006!

Friday, December 30, 2005

Posh beats up pregnant women

Well, not quite... But pictured here with Geri Halliwell you just know that she is thrilled to be standing next to someone who makes her look even thinner and more fake tanned...I bet she is thinking...















Apparantly a Spice Girls reunion is in the works...i'm not sure how I feel about that since one spice girl is pregnant, another looks like a barbie doll on crack and the other 3...

...well

... noone cares about them.