Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Mongolia and the Kama Sutra Scribble

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting
After learning about Mongolian culture last year, I gave my 2nd year students (8th grade in the US) short composition sheets with different images of Mongolia and asked them to describe what they would do there using the future tense. Afterwards we made a big bulletin board outside the English classroom my JTE and I had begged the Kocho Sensei (Principal) for. Usually, in Japan, teachers change rooms while students stay in their homeroom.

I rediscovered this gem today in a pile of old papers.

*****

This is Mongolian Wrestlers. I don't like this.

Because I don't like naked men.

I won't see Mongolian Wrestlers.

Of course I won't play Mongolian Wrestlers

But, I will go to Mongolia.

*****

Shortly thereafter, I discovered this on one of the students desks while we were in the midst of a conversation lesson...


And speaking of naked men...

This comes only a week after one of the sweetest 3rd grade (9th in the US) boys in the whole school invited me to the library during hiru yasumi (recess) to show me the school collection of Disney's books in Engish. Of course it was right about then that the crew that I usually play basketball with came looking for me, and finding me in the library, quickly set to work searching through a shelf of books. I was so impressed that they were giving up their beloved b-ball time to read, until one of them tapped me on the shoulder and pointed to a certain nether region on Michealangelo's famous statue of David in an art encyclopedia.

*****

"Melissa, what's this?"

"Hmm...Yabai." I said, trying to think of a plan of escape. The rest of the crew gathered around, waiting anxiously for my reply.

"Melissa..." he said reassuringly, sensing my fear "Ok, Ok. Doctor's word Ok."

"Doctor's word is Ok?" I asked, still stalling and hoping for a reprieve. " Ok. What is the doctor's word in Japanese?"

"Dansei!" He calmy answered, and then sensing a bit of reverse pedegogy on my part, smiled and tried to translate it into Enlglish himslef.

"Dan nan no de...Man! No no! Man- ZU! Man-zu sei...Sei...Sei..PART! Man's part!"

*****

By now, all the boys in the library were gathered around us in anticipation. We all bust out laughing. The sense of accomplishment on his face was priceless.

Eventually I told them the "doctor's word," which has and promises to lead to even more interesting eikaiwas (english conversations)...

Saturday, May 27, 2006

BREAKING NEWS: Shiloh Nouvel Jolie-Pitt is born!

OH!
MY!
GOD!

"The night of May 27, 2006 in Namibia, Africa, Angelina Jolie and Brad
Pitt welcomed their daughter Shiloh Nouvel Jolie-Pitt. No further
information is being given" Angelina's publicist Cindy Guagenti has
stated.

No photos are being released at this time.

Congratulations Brad and Angelina!

Look out world, the woman who may take Aishwarya Rai's title of "Most
beautiful woman in the world" may have just been born!

More news to come....
----------------------
(Mobile post via SDK2)

Friday, May 26, 2006

Kate Moss does NOT like being photographed




Kate Moss lashed out at the paparazzi trying to get a sneaky photo of her recently. Kate apparently kicked and cursed at the photographers before lighting up a cigarette and walking calmly away.

Now, from anyone normal, or Weseal McWeaslface Sienna Miller, I would not tolerate this sort of behaviour, but with Kate I feel like she is justified. The woman is photographed 24/7 for her job, she doesn't want to take her job home with her! If you worked in a fish shop would you want people hurling catfish at you in the street? I think not!

Also, Kate's demeanor is like a mischevious, chain smoking 5 year old..she could literally come up and kick me in the face and I would still roll her a cigarette and tell her to run off and play with her dolls like a good little girl!








Thursday, May 25, 2006

In the name of all that is white trash...




A suddenly very pregnant Britney Spears popped out for coffee today and confirmed what has been suspected for a long time; She has gone to the dark side..

It was inevitable that her Louisiana roots and her trailer park husband would finally get the better of her....

But dear lord! The dress?



The lipstick?



The shoes?



The bruised knees? ( or BritKNEE hahahahaha)



Call me old fashioned but i prefer my celebrities not to look like they have just come from selling hot wings at a cattle auction held in someone's back yard...

Photos Courtesy of Britneyspy

BRITBOY IN THE NEW YORK TIMES!!!



Not to flog a dead horse or anything, I've already sent out the emails, phoncalls, text messages, myspace bulletins, IMs and even one smoke signal..but I WAS IN THE NEW YORK TIMES TODAY!

Click HERE to read the article (you may have to register for a free account)

Even more exciting is that my article was the number one most emailed story of the day!



Yes, thats right, you can expect some real celebrity behavior from me now

...I ASKED FOR NONPURIFIED ARTISAN DRINKING WATER WITH ADDED ELECTROLYTES....

..or something like that...

A HUGE thanks to Anna Bahney for getting in touch with me and writing an amazing article!

Miyagawa Girls: Kyo Odori

Maiko, or apprentice geisha, of Miyagawa-cho perform during the finale of this year's Kyo Odori: In purple, Fukyoshi, in green, Yasuha, in blue, Fukunao. Note the hint of red in her collar, compared to that of the other maiko -- an indication of her lower rank.

The Walrus and the Aniston...



hmmmm.. it seems that some stars forget that it's the fans who get them to the top....

At the premiere of her new movie "The Break Up" this week, Jennifer Aniston sped past waiting fans and paparazzi, covering her face with her hair as she left the event. Jennifer did not stop for photos or autographs but made time to say "Thank You" to a fan who yelled that she looked hot...

I was at the event myself and managed to snap a couple of pics of Jennifer as she ran to get into her car...





Now, I can understand why celebrities avoid photographers when they are, say, taking their kids to school, or spanking a midget transvestite in the parking lot at Denny's..but not at a movie premiere!! You are there to promote the movie, you should do anything that the fans tell you!

For example, if I was a celebrity and my fans asked me to grease myself up with "I can't believe it's not butter", writhe around on the floor, and squeal like a jubilant walrus I WOULD!

...here is how Jennifer should respond if faced with that same challenge...









These are the kinds of things that celebrities should do for us, its not much to ask!

Anyway Jennifer decided to show us some of her other skills in the June issue of "Harpers Bazaar"



SHE CAN TAKE PHOTOS!!



SHE CAN WEAR BIG CARDIGANS ON THE BEACH!!



AND AGAIN!!! SHE'S NO ONE TRICK PONY!!



AND SHE CAN STRADDLE A BIKE WITH LEGS AKIMBO!!

Well, she may be no buttered up walrus impersonator but Jen is quite entertaining enough for me...

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Peonies in Bloom : Geiko of Miyagawa

Geiko of Miyagawa-cho, one of Kyoto's five geisha districts, performing during this years Kyo Odori.

Excerpt from the 57th Annual Kyo Odori Program:

The long cold winter gives way at last to the arrival of spring in the ancient capital of Kyoto, and the Kyo Odori is always a welcome and colorful addition to this flower-filled season.

Famous for their beauty, the geisha and maiko of Miyagawa-cho grace the Kyo Odori stage to offer lively, fun, and elegant portrayals of seasonal culture, local flavor, and stories that developed in places throughout Kyoto...

Time always seems short,but we hope that the seven scenes of this year's performance, Seasonal Glories of the Capital, will provide a sense of the tradition and beauty embodied in the local performing arts.

Monday, May 22, 2006

Sweet retribution...

See Brandon Davis get what he deserves.... HERE

Well, sort of...

Saturday, May 20, 2006

The most beautiful woman in the world




Indian actress Aishwarya Rai, widely acknowledged as the most beautiful woman in the world, was in Cannes this week promoting her new movie...but who cares? Who cares about anything except looking at her??

She is literally PERFECT

I'm gonna go out on a limb and say that she is not just the most beautiful woman in the world but the MOST BEAUTIFUL HUMAN BEING EVER IN THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE IN THE HISTORY OF EVERYTHING EVER...

And if you disagree you are clearly mentally ill, on hallucinogenic drugs or an idiot.




Friday, May 19, 2006

Can You Feel the Love?

Is "Hating the Korean Wave" a backlash to an Anti-Japanese Media and Educational System in Korea?

Just one of many Children's Anti-Japan drawings found lining the walls of a Korean Subway last summer. Courtesy of Toron Talker.

I remember seeing these pictures on the Toron Talker last summer and being absolutely stunned. At the time I knew even less about the tensions between Japan and the rest of Asia than I do now ( a situation of which I admit I remain almost completely ignorant, but working to understand).

"I think we should make nuclear weapons and fire them at Japan!"A Korean man interviewed by Asahi TV.


A short time after these children's drawing surfaced, Asahi TV went to the location where they were discovered to investigate, interviewing adults and offering an interesting, if not disturbing, glimpse into a Korean classroom, and the children's views on Kim Jong Il. Korean-based Occidentalism not only reported on the program, but also provided images, translations and a video link on his website. Check it out.

"He's a good person (Kim Jong Il)." A Korean elementary student.

Something to think about:

While the "Hating the Korean Wave" article provides insight into the tensions between the two countries, it is important to remember that less than 1% of the Japanese population had bought it back in Novemeber (360,000 copies sold). In fact, during the 2002 World Cup, Japanese spectators cheered for both Korean and Japanese teams alike, while Koreans often booed when Japan scored a goal.

When I first arrived in Japan back in August of 2004, at least 1 student in every class at each of my 16 schools asked me if I liked Yon-sama (the highly respectful name given to South Korean soap opera idol Bae Yoon Joon by his adoring Japanese fans). At first I didn't know the name, but once the teacher showed me his picture, I recognized him immediately. Star of the enormously famous (in Japan) "Fuyu Sonata," Yon-sama adorned the desktop calendars of many middle aged female teachers. His smiling face had followed me through subway stations and stared down at me from train advertisements. Both he and Choi Ji Woo, the heroine of 'Winter Sonata', can be seen on Japanese TV commercials every day.

Thursday, May 18, 2006

Team Lindsay or Team Brandon?



My oh my, how fickle celebrity friendships are. It was only a short while ago that Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan were BFF's after Paris fell out with longtime best friend Nicole Richie.

Recently however things have taken a turn for the worse. Just a few days ago Lindsay and Paris had a furious argument at Hollywood club Hyde. Apparently Lindsay approached Paris table where she was in the middle of a conversation with sister Nicky.

Paris' rep states: "Paris was having a conversation with a couple of friends.Lindsay approached her table and at that moment Paris felt she was being interrupted and didn't wish to speak to Lindsay."


"A couple of words were exchanged and Lindsay went back to her table."I can understand how other patrons in the club could have thought it had been a bigger deal than it actually was,"

reading between the lines Paris and Lindsay had a huge bitchfight.



Fast forward a few days and oil heir Brandon Davis decided to weigh in on the Paris and Lindsay feud. As Paris and Brandon were clubhopping in Hollywood Brandon decided to have a rant about Lindsay in full view of the paparazzi while Paris laughed uncontrollably in the background.

Among the vicious remarks, Brandon stated that Lindsay's father is "hotter than her", she is a "firecrotch", "has freckles coming out of her v****** and her c*** is 7 feet long." and finally "I think she's worth about seven million (dollars), which means she's really poor. It's disgusting. She lives in a motel." Paris adds that "Her movie bombed"

SEE THE VIDEO HERE

I think that Brandon Davis just won the award for most disgusting human being on earth. Should someone who looks like the human version of a piece of lard really be making fun of anyone? Trust me I have seen him up close in real life and he is absurdly greasy.

Secondly, I find it pretty ironic that he and Paris are making fun of Lindsay's wealth when hers has been earned through hard work while they have been born into money.

Thirdly, just watch the video and you will agree with me that Brandon Davis is a vile human being.

Apparantly Howard Stern agrees with me. he called Davis " a big, fat, tubby piece of s***." and went on to say "It's just evil. Just pure evil coming out of this guy's mouth." He also called Paris an "animal." I couldn't agree more. I am certainly on TEAM LINDSAY all the way.

Black Eyed Freaks





Fergie of the Black Eyed Peas turned up at some event involving cars this week looking even more freakishly stretched than normal. She actually doesn't look human anymore..God knows how many surgical procedures it takes to end up looking like that? My guess is that her surgeries number at least in the double figures...

Their song should have been called "don't phunk with my face"

or.."Where is the fug"

or...

...ok im done with the puns...





My personal fave...


Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Manga Propaganda

Originally printed in the New York Times last November, this article sheds light on a suprising and shocking side of modern Japan through one of its most popluar cultural vehicles: Japanese Manga (comics).


TOKYO - A young Japanese woman in the comic book "Hating the Korean Wave" exclaims, "It's not an exaggeration to say that Japan built the South Korea of today!" In another passage the book states that "there is nothing at all in Korean culture to be proud of."

In their graphic and unflattering drawings of Japan's fellow Asians and in the unapologetic, often offensive contents of their speech bubbles, the books reveal some of the sentiments underlying Japan's worsening relations with the rest of Asia.

They also point to Japan's longstanding unease with the rest of Asia and its own sense of identity, which is akin to Britain's apartness from the Continent. Much of Japan's history in the last century and a half has been guided by the goal of becoming more like the West and less like Asia. Today, China and South Korea's rise to challenge Japan's position as Asia's economic, diplomatic and cultural leader is inspiring renewed xenophobia against them here.

Kanji Nishio, a scholar of German literature, is honorary chairman of the Japanese Society for History Textbook Reform, the nationalist organization that has pushed to have references to the country's wartime atrocities eliminated from junior high school textbooks.

Mr. Nishio is blunt about how Japan should deal with its neighbors, saying nothing has changed since 1885, when one of modern Japan's most influential intellectuals, Yukichi Fukuzawa, said Japan should emulate the advanced nations of the West and leave Asia by dissociating itself from its backward neighbors, especially China and Korea.

"I wonder why they haven't grown up at all," Mr. Nishio said. "They don't change. I wonder why China and Korea haven't learned anything."

Mr. Nishio, who wrote a chapter in the comic book about South Korea, said Japan should try to cut itself off from China and South Korea, as Fukuzawa advocated. "Currently we cannot ignore South Korea and China," Mr. Nishio said. "Economically, it's difficult. But in our hearts, psychologically, we should remain composed and keep that attitude."

The reality that South Korea had emerged as a rival hit many Japanese with full force in 2002, when the countries were co-hosts of soccer's World Cup and South Korea advanced further than Japan. At the same time, the so-called Korean Wave - television dramas, movies and music from South Korea - swept Japan and the rest of Asia, often displacing Japanese pop cultural exports.

The wave, though popular among Japanese women, gave rise to a countermovement, especially on the Internet. Sharin Yamano, the young cartoonist behind "Hating the Korean Wave," began his strip on his own Web site then.

As nationalists and revisionists have come to dominate the public debate in Japan, figures advocating an honest view of history are being silenced, said Yutaka Yoshida, a historian at Hitotsubashi University here. Mr. Yoshida said the growing movement to deny history, like the Rape of Nanjing, was a sort of "religion" for an increasingly insecure nation.

"Lacking confidence, they need a story of healing," Mr. Yoshida said. "Even if we say that story is different from facts, it doesn't mean anything to them."

The Korea book's cartoonist, who is working on a sequel, has turned down interview requests. The book centers on a Japanese teenager, Kaname, who attains a "correct" understanding of Korea. It begins with a chapter on how South Korea's soccer team supposedly cheated to advance in the 2002 Word Cup; later chapters show how Kaname realizes that South Korea owes its current success to Japanese colonialism.

"It is Japan who made it possible for Koreans to join the ranks of major nations, not themselves," Mr. Nishio said of colonial Korea.

The characters on the left and in the middle are supposed to be Japanese, while the character on the right is not.

But the comic book, perhaps inadvertently, also betrays Japan's conflicted identity, its longstanding feelings of superiority toward Asia and of inferiority toward the West. The Japanese characters in the book are drawn with big eyes, blond hair and Caucasian features; the Koreans are drawn with black hair, narrow eyes and very Asian features.

That peculiar aesthetic, so entrenched in pop culture that most Japanese are unaware of it, has its roots in the Meiji Restoration of the late 19th century, when Japanese leaders decided that the best way to stop Western imperialists from reaching here was to emulate them.

In 1885, Fukuzawa - who is revered to this day as the intellectual father of modern Japan and adorns the 10,000 yen bill (the rough equivalent of a $100 bill) - wrote "Leaving Asia," the essay that many scholars believe provided the intellectual underpinning of Japan's subsequent invasion and colonization of Asian nations.

Fukuzawa bemoaned the fact that Japan's neighbors were hopelessly backward. Writing that "those with bad companions cannot avoid bad reputations," Fukuzawa said Japan should depart from Asia and "cast our lot with the civilized countries of the West." He wrote of Japan's Asian neighbors, "We should deal with them exactly as the Westerners do."

As those sentiments took root, the Japanese began acquiring Caucasian features in popular drawing. The biggest change occurred during the Russo-Japanese War of 1904 to 1905, when drawings of the war showed Japanese standing taller than Russians, with straight noses and other features that made them look more European than their European enemies. " The Japanese had to look more handsome than the enemy," said Mr. Nagayama...

By Norimitsu Onishi (The New York Times)Updated: 2005-11-21

The Morning Commute: Gion

Young maiko wander through the traditional teahouse-lined streets of Gion.

Friday, May 12, 2006

And now for something Completely Different: Gloomy Bear

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting


This is the story of a little boy and a cute, cuddly, abandoned, pink bear cub. Captivated by his cuteness, the little boy decided to adopt his new pink pal. He took him home, took care of him, and the two became the best of friends...Until the cute little cub grew up.

The cuteness of stuffed animals, wild and feral in real life, seemed strange to Mori Chack (Chax). "It is only natural for a bear to attack humans. I wanted to express that in a cute manner."

And that's what he's been getting paid to do, since 2002, when he was discovered selling hand-made postcards on the streets of Osaka. Almost overnight, Gloomy Bear, in all his pink, kawaii-style gruesomeness, had clawed his bloody way into the hearts of Japanese youth.

Gloomy, pronounced "gurumi" in Japanese, actually means stuffed, and is the suffix of the word "nuigurumi" (sewed and stuffed) meaning "stuffed animal" in Japanese. Unlike his Disney cousin, Pooh-san, who also enjoys great popularity among kawaii kid consumers, Gloomy can not be tamed by the society he's caged in.

Today, Gloomy Bear can be found sitting pretty, stuffed and fluffed on shelves all over Japan. Bloody key chains, ketai straps, stationary, and almost any other product plastered with this strawberry-sweet killing machine are never hard to find. Come on! You gotta admit -- he is kind of cute -- once you become desensitized to the disturbing, blood-drenched claws and mauling mouth... So let me know if you're in the market! (^-^)/

Monday, May 8, 2006

The world has gone mad!



Everything that I believed in came crashing down around me this weekend when...yes I'm going to say it....it finally happened....the Simpson sisters SWITCHED HOTNESS!

I never thought this day would come...who would have forseen that Ashlee would get a nose job and Jessica would wear a hideous red wig and ill fitting bra? Certainly not I, but that is exactly what happened...first enjoy the train wreck that is the weave sporting Jessica...







and now Ashlee post surgery...







A nose to nose comparison



I would just like to personally thank Ashlee's doctor, Dr. Raj Kanodia of Beverly Hills, I never thought that I would be attracted to Ashlee Simpson, it's kind of like being attracted to cold meatloaf, but I have been proven wrong...about Ashlee, not the meatloaf..but who knows..Dr. Kanodia is a miracle worker...maybe he can sort that out for me too?

This just became awkward didn't it?

If we lived in the world of the Jetsons, which i often wished we did, Jessica would totally be Jane Jetson...



But Ashlee would be Judy Jetson...



and as a wise man once said, "In a hotness contest between Judy Jetson and Jane Jetson, Judy is the hot tamale"...

That wise man was me.