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Megan Fox’s NYT outtakes courtesy

I’d really like to hope that this is not really the way Angelina feels about Megan. What I want to believe is that either Angelina is like “Megan who now?” or that Angelina’s like “I’ll shank that sk-nky little poseur if she comes near me.” As much as the media seems to want to make the Angelina-Megan thing a competition, or that Megan is “replacing” the 34-year-old Jolie, I don’t really think that’s their dynamic. I think Megan stalks (”the comparison is the bane of my existence” she says), and Angelina is aware, but doesn’t really love or hate Megan. Certainly, Angelina wouldn’t care enough to give advice to Megan. Just my take.

Transformers starlet Megan Fox, 23, has unabashedly talked up her lesbian trysts, wild temper and self-cutting. But Angelina Jolie has some advice for her young doppelganger: Shut your mouth.

According to a Jolie source, “Angie has been saying, ‘That woman acts like a fool. She needs to mind her Ps and Qs. She’s saying shocking things for attention, but those things will follow her around and be reprinted forever.’”

Jolie, of course, speaks from experience, the pal adds: “Angie said, ‘I wish someone had pulled me aside when I was young and told me that. Now I’ll forever be known as a lesbian or a self-cutter, instead of what I worked so hard to become. You have to put a muzzle on it!’”

Nokia N900 review

Having released a series of solid, but unexciting handsets in the last couple of years and seen the HTC Hero, Pre and (particularly) the Apple iPhone 3GS, grab market share and the tech lovers’ imagination, Nokia needs a big handset success and fast. The N900 eschews Symbian for the open-source Maemo 5 OS and despite a few gripes; it’s the best handset Nokia has produced in a long time.

At 18mm deep, the N900 is chunkier than you’d expect, but feels solid and well built. There are no buttons on top, the 3.5-inch screen slides back to reveal an excellent full QWERTY keyboard. One thing you’ll notice straight away is that with the exception of making calls, it only works in landscape mode, making it near impossible to operate one-handed, potentially putting some people off.

Marvellous Maemo

Maemo 5 is based around open source Linux technology, which means developers are free to create apps for it. Intuitive and flexible, it makes Symbian look antiquated. Swipe through four home screens, each fully customisable with website shortcuts, RSS feeds, applications (that update live), contacts and shortcuts to your address book, calendar, web etc. You could have one home screen for work, one for your personal life and one for all your favourite web links.

Open applications and web pages appear as tabs on the virtual ‘dashboard’ screen, which sits between the menu and home screens, here you can swap between different programs and shut them down. Phone settings are accessed through the applications menu. The resistive touchscreen is a bit unresponsive; a quick touch activates commands, but press too hard and nothing happens. This could be because we had an early sample, but at the moment it’s not as responsive as the iPhone or the Palm Pre.

Crucially, a major issue we’ve got with the N900 is that it’s not obvious when you’ve received a message. If you miss the message bubble, the indicator light flashes and the corner button glows, but only when you click through to the dashboard can you find out who the message is from. It really needs information displayed on the lock screen like the new Windows 6.5 handsets.

Screen dream?

With a resolution of 800x480 the screen is fantastic. It’s bright, colourful and sharp and Flash 9.4 support lets you play back You Tube clips, although we noticed slight juddering and lag when playing back a video from T3.com. The Mozilla powered browser is excellent, displaying full web pages and loading T3.com in about six seconds.

Scroll by moving your finger around the page, alternatively dragging onto the screen from the left introduces a movable navigation arrow, this isn’t something we’d use, but it’s a useful alternative to the stylus when navigating websites. Zoom in and out by double tapping, or via the volume control, although this last method does leave you unable to adjust the sound when listening to music. It’s all very simple, but we found the iPhone’s multi-touch gestures more intuitive.

The ARM Cortex-A8 processor, coupled with a generous 1GB RAM means you can run multiple applications simultaneously. We swapped between the music player, a You Tube Video, multiple web pages, the camera and various contacts and message folders, without any of the sluggishness you get from other handsets. Although after 24-hours of moderate calling and texting, WiFi continually on, some browsing and photography, we needed to recharge. Cane the web and you’ll need to carry a charger around with you.

Apps will also be available from Ovi Store for Maemo 5 when it launches, as well as developer portal Maemo Select which has 50 apps including FaceBook for Nokia and Amazon.

It's all about the networking

The N900 supports a host of IM services, including: Ovi by Nokia, Skype, Google Talk, Jabber and SIP. Messages are displayed alongside SMS’s in the ‘Conversations’ tab and it’s very simple to synch contact information across programs. Push email is a cinch to set-up too, but is separate. It would have been useful to have them both - along with Tweets and Facebook messages - in one central place, like Motorola’s MotoBlur interface. Although the beauty of Maemo is that an app could rectify this.

There’s no support for MMS’s, because Nokia says the N900 is a ‘computing/imaging solution.’ This is a little short-sighted; for many people the N900 will be their primary telephone. Crucially, a major issue we’ve got with the N900 is that it’s not obvious when you’ve received a message. If you miss the message bubble, the indicator light flashes but there’s nothing on the home screen - only when you click through to the dashboard do you read it. The keys glow, but you’ve got to have the handset open. It could do with information displayed on the lock screen like the new Windows 6.5 handsets.

Mammoth memory

With 32GB of internal storage there’s plenty of room for music and photos. Pictures taken with the 5MP camera are fine and are geotagged, but with an LED instead of Xenon flash, it just isn’t as good as the Sony Ericsson Satio. Surprisingly you can’t access pictures via the Media Player (which isn’t as good as Sony’s Xross Media Bar), just videos, internet radio and music. Ovi maps are supplied, but they’re no match for dedicated sat nav software.

With a customisable interface, great multimedia features and capable browser, the N900 is far better than any Nokia handset we’ve seen in along time. In terms of browsing and sheer multitasking capability, it’s also superior to other smartphone rivals. Yes, we’re going to use the term smartphone, whatever Nokia says.

****

Nicole Kidman acts odd

The Huffington Post has a poll up about Nicole’s lips, and they have a series of close-ups of Kidman’s lips throughout the years to compare and contrast. Once you look at them, it does become obvious just how “plumped” she’s getting those puppies.



Us Weekly piled on too, pulling Nicole’s old quotes about how she’s all-natural: “I am completely natural. I have nothing in my face or anything.” Us Weekly then quotes Dr. Martin Braun, a Canadian Botox doctor, who claims that Nicole is so “over-Botoxed…frozen and strange” that she looks like a bat. Seriously.



Just when everybody gets on the bandwagon about how rough Nicole’s Botox-injections-surgery stuff looks, that’s just when I start feeling badly for her. I used to think she was totally crazy to mess with her beautiful face, and I hated her a little for how waxy and unmoving her face had become. Now that everyone’s picked up on it, I think people should give her a break. She fears the reaper, y’all. And having that frozen face is punishment enough.



Everyone was talking about Nicole Kidman at the Country Music Awards in Nashville. “She looked freakish,” said one witness. “She just had her lips done, and now she looks like Meg Ryan.” The Aussie actress didn’t want to be interrogated on the red carpet and fled, leaving behind her perplexed husband, Keith Urban. “She just flipped out and took off running,” said our source. “Keith kept saying, ‘Where is she? Where is she?’ ” Kidman’s reps had no comment.

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Michael Lohan tried to sell Lindsay recordings for $100,000

You have to watch the video and see and hear Michael to really understand why it’s absolutely necessary I punch him in the face. Normally I go with something a little more vague and gentle, like “I wanna kick him in the ear,” or “I’d like to step on his stomach.” But whenever I do that I’m always thinking how I’d really love punch that person in the face. And with Michael Lohan, I’ve just got to say it. He needs to be punched. A lot. I’ll give the requisite disclaimer that you shouldn’t. But oh my God would I understand it. Just saying.

If that all weren’t enough, Michael also says that God is taking Lindsay’s career away from her. You remember that part of the Bible, where God is talking to that douchebaggy guy and is all, “Thou shouldn’t snort things up thou’s nose. And if thou doest, I shall smite you with straight-to-DVD film roles.” (That was a little bit of old school God and a little bit of Shakespeare).

After the first tape was released, Lindsay tweeted that her father was a “loser.” On her Twitter site yesterday, in an apparent reference to her mom, LiLo tweeted, “She blames herself for staying w/him for so long, I’d beg her not to leave b/c he always threatened to kill her if she did.”

But Michael told The Post’s Rita Delfiner, “That’s a lie. I guess Lindsay is on more drugs than I thought to say something like that. Now I’m going to release more recordings that prove everything she is saying is nothing more than a bunch of lies.

“No wonder why God is taking her entire career away from her,” Michael continued. “Because she’s forsaken everything He’s given her and she’s done nothing but misuse all the gifts she’s given.”

Oh the sanctimony. It is perfectly God-like and Christian to escalate things in a childish war of retaliation with your own daughter. But if she says things about you that you don’t like (and which may well be true), then God’s taking her career away.

You just know this isn’t going to end well. “Well” would be Lindsay going into rehab. And Michael falling down an elevator shaft or something. But the way this drama is escalating, it feels inevitable that pretty soon we reach the climax. I think everyone can see it but the Lohans.

Jessica Simpson calls Melrose ‘crap’

I could go off about how dumb and naïve Jessica is, but frankly I like that she’s unconditionally supportive of her sister. It’s nice when your family loves you so much that you can do no wrong. Well, to an extent. But Ashlee’s bad acting definitely falls under the family umbrella. They all probably think she’s amazing and super talented, and I think that’s sweet.

All that said, getting kicked off “Melrose” supposedly hasn’t taught Ashlee any lessons about her acting skills.

Us Weekly mentioned that she doesn’t want to return to singing, that she’s been spending most of her time going over scripts, and that “‘acting is her focus now.’”

God save us all. I was only able to sit through the show a time or two, but watching Ashlee’s scenes was excruciating. She was so bad it actually made me feel awkward and uncomfortable, and I had to stop watching.

If she’s really got her little heart set on acting, I’d say she should probably set her feet in motion towards a good acting class. Or seven.

In case you’re interested, here are some priceless pics of Jess at Halloween. Maybe it’s me, but it looks like her left boob is trying to go drastically different places from her right one.