The Lohan in hospital again

It's been a while since I featured an absurd story about the Lohan..and I think she realised..She has outdone herself this time..landing herself in hospital for the most absurd reason ever.

Lindsay was in London when she was rushed to hospital for a large gash on her leg. The official explanation?

"Lindsay was going up the stairs, carrying a ceramic teacup," said Lindsay's mother Dina. "She had just come out of the shower, so she was still wet and had some lotion on, and she completely flipped on the stairs. ... The teacup went flying, it was shattered and one of the pieces cut Lindsay on her shin."

umm..ok. I love Dina's lavish explanations..next it will be..

"Well, Lindsay was building a life size model of the Taj Mahal using Bicarbonate of Soda and Chicken fat. Suddenly an escaped Llama from the zoo crashed through our back fence wearing a tiara...Lindsay mistook this for a terrorist attack and inhaled deeply in horror, sucking up the bicarbonate of soda... and that's why her nose was full of white powder."

Come on Lindsay..I'm British..I know every concievable teacup related inury and that one has never cropped up. Try harder.

Luckily I was on the scene to get THE ONLY paparazzi photo of the event.



Just one question. Why was she wearing tights in the shower?

I can see her Popozao!

Holy crap! Each of Serena William's buttcheeks is bigger than her head! How the hell does she keep her balance? How does she fit through doors?

She should open a "Junk in the Trunk" charity for people to understand the hardships of living with an insanely large ass...they could create extra large toilet seats..and get people to put bowling balls down the back of their pants to truly understand the plight of the bootylicious...

Raggedy Anne

Oh look, the hobo who lives at the bottom of my street in an old shopping cart has emerged to say hello. I guess she doesn't like being photographed as she collects her bottletops to create sculptures of weasels to sell by the road.

Wait, my mistake, that isn't a 65 year old homeless woman, thats billionaire teen mogul Mary Kate Olsen. Now, there was a time when I actually believed that MK was pretty stylish..those days are gone...take away the Chanel purse and she actually looks like she lives on the street.

Doesn't she know that fame is all about tailored designer clothes, lavish spending sprees and..you know...washing. Can't MK ever understand that it's what's on the outside that counts?

Coming soon to BritBoy in L.A.

You've never seen anything like this before.

Haymiller

I told you so..here are some new pics of Haymiller partying it up and flirting..they are such a wierd pairing..I can't help but wonder what they think about eachother..

Who make the creepiest couple?

Stretched face and butch lesbian?



Or corpse bride and...um..corpse husband?

Brangelina merge into one

I have no idea where Brangelina are or what they are doing in these pictures but all that is irrelevant. All that matters in that they have finally merged into one person..and apparantly that person is a CIA agent from the 1980s.

Brad Pitt really annoyes me, he has NO personality or style of his own..he just copies whoever he goes out with...I wish he would go out with a schizophrenic who hit herself repeatedly in the head with an axe...

Magazine Faceoff: The Lohan vs The Dunst

My Vote:

The Lohan looks better

The Dunst has the better photos

Breaking News: Some idiot rejects Jessica Simpson

In what has to be the stupidest move in the history of the world Justin Timberlake's assistant Trace Ayala has allegedly rejected Jessica Simpson! Apparently before Nick and Jessica filed for divorce on December 16th, spies saw Jessica and Trace flirting like crazy in an L.A. nightclub.

After the divorce Jessica assumed that things would pick up where they left off, but Trace had other ideas, mainly being a huge idiot. "Jessica was going after Trace pretty hard right after she dumped Nick," an insider told Star magazine "But Trace apparently didn't want to offend Nick by dating his ex so soon after the breakup. The rejection was a huge blow to her ego."

I'm sorry but is Trace Ayala insane? he spends his days running around buying venti non-fat double shot vanilla lattes for the Camberlakes and when given the chance to have a bit of a life of his own he doesn't want it?

To put that in perspective that's kind of like someone telling a guy who cleans clogged toilets that he can be president, and the guy saying that he likes plungers too much.

Not that I'm saying Justin and Cameron's toilet gets clogged a lot, or that Trace Ayala has an unhealthy obsession with plungers.

(I am.)

Also, I don't know when Jessica decided that dressing like a cross between a convict, a french maid and Malibu Barbie was a good idea, maybe thats how she deals with grief? As for Ashlee all I can say is she looks like a dirty old man pervert flasher in this getup. While I know that "dirty old man pervert flasher" is technically grammatically incorrect I just like saying "dirty old man pervert flasher"

EXCLUSIVE: Bobby's blog has arrived!

Bobby Trendy has made his first post on his official blog. It's pretty brief but it gets the point across. Does it mean my life is empty that I am this excited?

Bobby Trendy's Blog

Name this couple!

Now it appears that Ms. Icantdressmyself was the one that dumped Jude Law to hook up with Hayden Christensen on the set of "Factory Girl". This is a match made in hell, she can't dress and he's gay (allegedly)...

...enough said.









I am giving you the first chance to name this couple..Siennaden? Haymiller? or something even funnier! Email, AIM or comment me with your suggestions.

YAWWWWWWWWWN

Although I can bearly muster the energy to type about these two anymore I will have to manage. It seems as though Ms. Icantdressmyself and Mr. Nannydiddler have finally called it quits

The two most revered tabloid newspapers in Britain, The Sun and The Daily Mirror have different spins on the breakup. The Sun states that Sienna dumped Jude as he has moved in with ex wife Sadie Frost in order to spend more time with his children. The source in the Sun states, "She screamed at Jude when he told her." "She claimed he might as well get back with her if he's prepared to live with her."

The Mirror on the other hand says that Jude could not handle Sienna's controlling nature post-nannygate. "Sienna has become more demanding," an insider on her new film revealed. "Sienna thought she could call the shots. Jude put up with it for a while, but in the end her behaviour drove him away."

Let's face it, this pair break up and make up like other people eat breakfast..every freakin day..

My thought is that the break up won't last, it is a universal impossibility that two people this dull, bland and with so little fashion sense won't stay together..that would be like Katie Holmes pulling a Cantaloupe out from under her tunic and shouting "he's gay, he's gay!"

It's not going to happen

Because she's worth it.

This is the first available photo from Scarlett Johansson's $4 million Loreal deal. Look at this photo and tell me she isn't worth $4 million.

You could pay Steven Hawking $4 million to create a perfect cyborg out of Angelina Jolie's DNA, liquid gold and Gisele's dead skin cells and it still wouldn't come close to looking like Scarlett..

Not that I'm saying Scarlett is a cyborg created by Steven Hawking....but...well...

...she never blinks.

Because she's worth it (kind of)

In other Loreal news here are some photos from Teri Hatcher's Loreal shoot. I'm trying to turn over a new leaf and not say mean things about people..so all I'll say is that:

Teri does NOT look like the living dead

The dog does NOT weigh more than she does

Those Red Vines are NOT all she is going to eat all week