It seems that since the publication of the first pictures of Suri Cruise the world has gone Suri crazy! The photos have sparked an unprecidented amount of speculation and discussion..so much so that I heard a grandmother on the train today stating that the baby was "clearly an alien"...
I decided, with inspiration from the train grandmother, to publish my top 7 Suri conspiracy theories that have been gathered from various media sources.
Why 7? Well because I publish this blog and you don't...so there...
Some of the theories are much more outragous than others! enjoy!
7. Suri is an adopted baby from Asia and the hours of photoshopping were required to make her look more Caucasian, including lightening her eyes to appear blue in the photographs.
(i have to admit that in some of the photographs Suri does look Asian, especially the eyes and nose, and the pictures are clearly heavily photoshopped. I guess we will just have to wait until we see Suri on TV to judge this better...)
6. Katie was pregnant before she met Tom and gave birth during the time that she disappeared from media view. Therefore Suri is much older than Tom and Katie report, hence the reason for her absence from the media spotlight..Tom and Katie were waiting for Suri to get older so her an age discrepancy would not be so obvious.
(hmmm, not so sure about this, Katie didn't disappear from the media for long enough to have a baby without appearing obviously pregnant, I think that this theory arose simply because Suri looks older than she is.)
5. Suri is Katie Holmes baby with Chris Klein and Suri clearly resembles him.
(Personally I don't see any resemblence to Chris Klein, but many other media outlets such as Perez Hilton do!)
4. The baby has already undergone plastic surgery to make her look more like Tom and Katie.
(umm...no.)
3. Suri was created from L. Ron Hubbards stored DNA and is set to become the next leader of Scientology..and maybe the world...
(You know what, I want to say that this is garbage but it would be just my luck that I would say that and then tomorrow the world would be run by a 5 month old baby...so I'm not saying it...)
2. Suri is an alien
(This seems to be the predominant theory and to be honest I can see why..while the baby is beautiful there is something a little Martian about her...when I look at the pictures I feel like she is scanning my soul for weaknesses to use against me in intergalactic battle...or maybe thats just me...)
1. Suri does not exist.
(Some die hard conspiracy theorists believe that Suri does not exist at all and that the entire photoshoot was created via computer imaging...even I have a hard time with that one
...although there was that time that I made a friend for myself out of old tin cans and a tyre and everyone believed he was real
...wait
...what?
They just pitied me?
We'll see what Tin can John John has to say about this...)
If you really can't decide which conspiracy theories to ponder some more then here are some other shots from the photoshoot. POPSUGAR has the whole set
Theres no denying it..she really is a beautiful baby..and quite possibly the fictitious Asian alien spawn of Chris Klien and L.Ron Hubbard sent to rule the earth
...maybe she will be my friend along with tin can John John?
p.s: Don't forget to check out Suri's myspace HERE She is quite the gangsta!
