I'm just going to say it quickly..like ripping off a band aid...Dustin Diamond has a sex tape.
Yes, that's right...Screech from "Saved by the bell" is depicted romping with 2 women in the tape which also involves an act known as the "Dirty Sanchez". Trust me..if you don't know I'm not going to be the one to tell you.
"Phoenix-based agent David Hans Schmidt, who has brokered some of Hollywood's biggest celebrity-skin deals, confirms that he's acquired the rights to a tape featuring Diamond. "Just when you think you have seen everything in this business," he tells us, "mankind has raised the bar another notch. Or lowered it."
The tape is being marketed as "Saved by the smell", which should give you a clue as to what the "Dirty Sanchez" is.
Sorry, I just threw up in my mouth.
Can I just ask an obvious question here? "Saved by the Bell" featured 5 other actors who were all pretty hot, i mean...would it be so bad if it was Mario Lopez? Elizabeth Berkley? or Tiffany Amber Whatshername in the tape? No.
The whole point of celebrity sex tapes is so that you can see people, who are much more attractive than the people you know, naked...
Not so that you can have a rage-filled episode and break the television with your own face, wash your eyes out with bleach, and pray to Lucifer to end the world after having watched it.
If I wanted to do that I'd just sit through "The Da Vinci Code" again.
