Ok, so Orlando Bloom can't drive. Apparently he nearly killed a scooter rider during a collision on Monday. According to contactmusic:
"THE LORD OF THE RINGS heart-throb was driving in London on Monday morning (17APR06) when he reportedly pulled out in front of swimming instructor SLAWOMIR SZYDLOWSKI, who was riding his motorcycle. Swimming instructor Szydlowski, 28, says, "It's only good luck that I'm here to tell the tale. He can't have looked in his mirrors. I flew off and hit the ground hard, rolling three times. If there'd been a car coming the other way, I'd be dead."
How did Orlando apologize...maybe ride along to the hospital to see if he was ok? Buy him a new motorbike? Pay his medical bills?Hell, even slip him some cash? ...NO...HE GAVE HIM HIS FREAKIN AUTOGRAPH!!!
"When an ambulance arrived to whisk Szydlowski, who suffered deep cuts and internal bleeding, to hospital, Bloom jumped in the back and scribbled a note saying, 'Sorry mate!' and signed it. Szydlowski adds, "We both had to give breath tests. He did ring to check I was all right."
I have to say that this probably wasn't the optimum situation for Orlando to give someone his autograph...Although If I was mown down in the middle of the street by Orlando Bloom I probably wouldn't just want his autograph..I'd blackmail him into letting me swap lives with him...I'd lock him in a dungeon while I got paid $992834892355467 dollars to pout on top of a horse and shake my lustrous hair...
So you better look out Orlando..the next time you back out of your driveway without looking and someone leaps out in front of your car, that someone will be me...
Also, in future may I suggest an alternative form of transport?
Much better...
