I swear to god if another Scientology recruiter comes up to me and asks me if I want a free stress test I am going to kill someone...do I have "prospective cult member" tattooed on my forehead or something?
Sure I'm stressed but that doesn't mean I want to believe that we are inhabited by alien souls that were sent to earth in a prehistoric jet plane and planted in volcanoes.....really...couldn't L. Ron Hubbard have come up with something more realistic?
If its ok to just come up with religions then I want my own one too..I'm going to call it Trumpetcat...Trumpetcatists believe that the world was created by a giant cat named Harold who blew a magical trumpet to create the human race, unfortunately parts of Harold's godly trumpet became lodged in the human brian..causing us to become depressed and lethargic. In order to rid ourselves of these trumpet remnants you must rub yourself with gingerbread, collect bookmarks and shave your head....
...oh and send me $10,000 for an official Trumpetcat starter-pack....
