Ok, so I was at the tree lighting ceremony/event/celebration at the Grove in Los Angeles today (don't judge me I like the holidays, ok?) and Lauren Conrad of "The Hills" and "Laguna Beach" fame was there. People literally went apeshit and nearly started beating eachother to death to get a better view when she appeared on stage as if it was the second coming of the Messiah.
Now don't get me wrong I think Lauren Conrad is ok, I mean her hair is shiny and she has a throaty voice like a puppy that swallowed some detergent... but she's just no Jesus..I mean..she probably doesn't even eat carbs, let alone feed 4000 people with one loaf of bread and a fish. (As a sidenote I always thought that was the best bible story..like Jesus was some kind of a magician..oh except for the one where he moves the giant rock and escapes out of the cave at Easter..that was AWESOME. Jesus was totally like an olden-times David Blaine, except..you know..rockin' a longer beard and stuff.)
Oh my god, Lauren Conrad has rubbed off on me, before you know it I will be creating unnecessary turmoil in my everyday life, wearing headbands and finding holding my venti nonfat latte "exhausting".
PS: It would be pretty cool if Lauren Conrad could perform miracles, then I might watch "The Hills" more instead of wanting to tear my own eyes out just when I hear the theme tune. Knowing Lauren though she would use her powers to get Prada pumps in her size and to help her decide between dating annoying bastard guy and arrogant twat guy.
PS2: I am a massive hypocrite because we all know that if I were offered $70,000 per episode to be on "The Hills" I would totally jump at the chance. Hell I would proclaim Lauren Conrad the Messiah myself and make all my family convert to Conradism if that happened.
