Wednesday, May 2, 2007

Keira Knightley is not believable.



Ok, so by now everyone knows that I love Keira Knightley, some call it an obsession, but really aren't love and obsession the same thing?

The simple answer to that is no, but lets move on.

Keira gave an interview to Elle magazine stating that she would rather look like Gossip singer Beth Ditto than an anorexic. She was reportedly devastated when the mother of 19 year old Sophie Mazurek, who died of anorexia, cited an image of Keira looking extremely thin as a trigger to her daughter.

In the interview Keira says that she is trying to put on weight and has visited a doctor for advice: 'I went to the doctor to be checked out and asked him what I could do to put on weight. He told me that for someone of my body type to get to a size 12, I would have to eat a lot of shit food, stop exercising and drink loads. Basically, my body type is naturally thin. There is nothing I can do about it.'

Keira talks about the reason why she has stopped working since November: 'I'd got to a body breakdown. I felt I had permanent jet lag and couldn't mentally or physically adjust. I had a flat I'd bought but never lived in, friends I loved but never got to see. I just wanted to have a bit of a normal life.'

Keira even talks about retiring from acting: 'acting was the only thing I ever wanted to do. But, to be honest, I can see myself in five years or whatever just giving the whole thing up. I would. I'd just do something else and move on.

Avoiding parties: 'I now actively try to avoid parties. My idea of a good night is just hanging out with my mates.'

Hating the red carpet: 'I've become completely phobic about the red carpet because you just get so scrutinised and all I think is I'm going to be in the top 10 worst-dressed list tomorrow.'

and wanting to be like Sienna Miller: 'I wish I was Sienna Miller. When I talk to her I hope a bit of her party personality will rub off on me, but it never does.'

She continues saying that she would love to have a body like Monica Bellucci because it is 'so womanly, female and curvy'. Then she talks about seeing Gossip singer Beth Ditto on stage 'When she was performing she started taking all her clothes off. I stood there watching her strip, thinking, Oh my God, that woman is so sexy.'

Ok, there are several things wrong with this interview:

1) NOONE should wish to be like Sienna Miller, NOONE.
2) KEIRA KNIGHTLEY should DEFINATELY not wish to be like Sienna Miller.
3) Actors should not talk about 'retiring' from acting, it never happens and it just makes them look stupid.
4) Don't go on about being naturally thin and finding it hard to put on weight, it may well be true, but people will hate you.
5) Do not blatently LIE and say you wish you had a body like Beth Ditto. BETH DITTO?!?

Let's just have a little visual aid to help us truly comprehend what Keira is saying. Ok, so she would like to have a body like Monica Bellucci, fair enough, this is Monica Bellucci



...and this is Beth Ditto



I would love to see how happy Keira would be if she got her body switched with Beth's! In fact she probably wouldn't have time to be happy, she would be too busy drinking melted lard and living under bridges to scare small children.