Just in case...

You are suffering from Keira and Orlando withdrawal, here are some excellent photos taken by my good friend who shall remain nameless...all that will be said is that Orlando winked and pointed directly at her TWICE from the red carpet...

Now I'm not saying that as we speak a secret marriage is taking place and they will announce the birth of their first child later this year, but...

No, wait, thats exactly what I'm saying...

















They better name their child after me or I swear to god..

Pirates of the Caribbean 2 World Premiere!

I had the honour of attending the world premiere of "Pirates of the Caribbean 2: Dead Man's Chest" yesterday held at Disneyland. The event was insane to say the least, people were camped out from 6am in the morning just hoping for a glimpse of some of the stars!

I have come to know and love the red carpet format of premieres, think of it as the celebrity food chain, the lower down you are, the earlier you arrive...

First come the people you cannot name:



Like these two from dancing with the stars..i think the guy is called John..or Joe...or Dave...or Bill...or something...

Then come the vaguely familiar people



Ashley Tisdale from Disney Channel



Channing Tatum from..well..I'm sure he's been in something..

Then come the slightly bigger names



Jennifer Love Hewitt



James Cameron



Helen Mirren, who by the way outshone most of the young actresses...she is HOT....

moving on...

Then the big guns



Keira first, looks like all my years of stalking finally payed off



She is breathtakingly beautiful, when I saw her in person I didn't know whether to laugh, cry, pee or vomit



I ended up doing all 4 at once



This was her reaction



But then she saw the funny side



and then she began to move away very very slowly

Then came Mr. Orlando Bloom himself



I wanted to think of something funny to yell at him..



I was going to go with WHORE-LANDO...just because it made me laugh...



But then he got closer, smiled, and my inner 14 year old girl swooned



I've decided that If I ever had to bat for the other team, I would want Orlando to be the one holding my bat.



Here is an artists impression of Johnny Depp since he turned up 3 hours late and then rushed through hardly taking any pictures, sorry but there is NO excuse for that.

Unless your helicopter was attacked by a giant albatross and forced to make an emergency landing at sea where you had to use your own daughter to fend off sharks...

MAYBE that would be an excuse

Here is what I think that would look like...



Sorry, I didn't colour the sky becuase it takes so damn long..who has time for shit like that? Anyway I'm getting distracted...

So, when all the big stars have gone in, who is left?

Why me of course!



Yes, I snuck my way onto the red carpet...I think the accent helped.

(Note how only one person is taking my picture)

So, what have we learned today?

1)That I lose control of all bodily functions in the presence of beautiful women

2)That I am oddly attracted to men who look like elves and elderly british actresses

3)and that Johnny Depp REALLY needs to learn how to paralyse an albatross in a burning helicopter

The Truth about Sushi

TMI from a PDA!

For those of you who aren't as awesome I am the title means TOO MUCH INFORMATION from a PUBLIC DISPLAY OF AFFECTION, which is exactly what Jim Carey and Jenny Mccarthy gave us this week

There are some things you just don't need to see... like Star Jones smothered in cheese...or Haylie Duff (just in general)

...Jenny and Jim slobbering over eachother in public is another of those things.

It's Pow Wow Time Again...

An 8 year old Aztec boy in full regalia at Cleveland's annual Edgewater Pow Wow.

Unfortunately I'm back in Japan, just in time to miss it all. Luckily I was able to make a breif cameo at Cleveland's annual Pow Wow at Edgewater Park before getting back to work after a 10 day stay in my home sweet home of Ohio, known to almost every Japanese person I meet as the Good Morning State (^-^)/.

The last time I had the privledge of attending a Pow Wow was almost 2 years ago at Mohican, before begining my new life as a JET in Japan. You can read more about Pow Wows and see a lot more pictures here and here.

A young girl showing off her wonderfully colorful shawl during the fancy dance competition.

An Aztec teen sporting an impressive headdress at Edgewater's annual Pow Wow.


A young grass dancer tearing up the arena in some wicked regalia.

An aztec battle dance.

HOLY LOHAN!

Ok, I'm just going to ask the question that everyone is thinking...when did Lindsay Lohan age 60 years? She could actually pass for a 78 year old in these photos and not a 78 year old who has had an easy life...a 78 year old who has lived under a bridge in brooklyn and made her own heroin using gravel and discarded forks....

She needs to lay off the sex, drugs and more drugs lifestyle..

If you don't see the old age I advise you do this...

1) Step back from the screen

2) Squint

3) I rest my case

It's kind of like a magic eye picture...just much more tragic...

What is Paris smoking?

Paris Hilton was caught off guard on Saturday as TMZ cameraman Josh Levine filmed her smoking something in her car as she arrived at a Hollywood club. Paris, clearly startled turns around and begins to apply her makeup.

See the full video HERE

Paris' publicist Elliot Mintz, who was also at the club found Levine and told him "�I just want to get something clear with you. Paris Hilton rolled her own tobacco cigarettes. It was tobacco that you saw."�

...yes, tobacco..and Tara Reid is just drunk on happiness...please excuse me while I jump on my magic carpet and fly away to the land of candy and fairies.

Suicide: The Enduring Way of the Samurai?

Random picture of the day: A Pontocho geisha perfroming in Kamogawa Odori. Pontocho is one of Kyoto's 5 hanamachi, or geisha districts. This image has absolutely nothing to do with the following post. (^-^)v

Japan's total fertility rate, an indicator used for international comparisons of birth trends within individual countries, fell for the fifth consecutive year, hitting a record low of 1.25.

At the same time, suicides in Japan topped 30,000 (32,552) for the eigth straight year.

Not a good combination.

Japan's suicide rate is one of the highest in the world-- triple that of Great Britain, and double that of the United States. Suicides started to rise in 1998, when the country was mired in an economic slump. Since then the number of suicides has exceeded 30,000 every year. Males account for more than two-thirds of the total, with health problems and economic woes being cited as the most prevalent causes, respectively.

This year the number of students committing suicide reached 861, up 9.8 percent. University students accounted for more than half of the total, along with 7 elementary school pupils, 66 junior high school students, and 215 high school students .

Japan's cult suicide scene is also growing, with the number of Japanese killing themselves in groups rising steadily in recent years, from 34 in 2003 to 91 last year.

No religious prohibition exists against taking one's own life in Japan, condemning it as a sin or affront to god. Confucianism, in fact, sanctions suicide as a form of protecting one’s honor or protesting injustice. Suicide was once a form of ritual atonement for samurai, a poetic, redemptive act of purpose, considered to be both heroic and beautiful. Today it is a means of escaping failure and saving loved ones from embarrassment or financial loss.